practicing deception and chicanery since
1994
Warning: This page is
UNDER DECONSTRUCTION
'cause when it says Derrida, it's all right-a.
(look it up when you get home.)
I recently dug up an old animated video my brother and I
did when we were impressionable youth, and the first person I knew I
wanted to share it with was you. It's streaming video and there are
screencaps too in case you can't do Vivo. Viva Vivo!
Ripping off The Daily Show, I've started a new feature I
like to call the Moment of Zen. You may either
use
the link as I've provided, or by clicking on the Zen icon whenever and/or
wherever you see it. Sound like fun? Of course it is.
This morning around 9 AM I had the inspiration for a song
about Four Corners, you know, that place in the southwestern US where the
four states touch. In two hours not only had I written, composed, and
recorded the song, I had also gotten very sick of it. And now you can,
too! (Yes, the hokey accent is intentional, no, I don't normally
sound like that.) [around 2M, .AU format]
The usual standard intro stuff follows. You all know it by heart.
This page is the result of numerous minutes of tinkering with HTML and
Paint Shop Pro and other shareware graphics programs 'cause I'm too cheap
to get Adobe Photoshop, all so that when I meet my maker and talk to
whatever deity or deities rule the afterlife, I can claim that I've done
something constructive with my free time. You know, memento mori and all
that.
Here is a concise, easy-to-comprehend listing of the things you can do and
see during your limited, inconsequential time upon this planet. Have fun!
Ok, it's nothing more than "Random Stuff" revisited, but with keener
things. Ok, so maybe they're just the same stuff right now. So what?
Still the usual text files culled from alt.stupidity and elsewhere, but this time, THEY'RE ON RETINA! Can you hold your bladder any longer?
All the stupid links you'll ever need, priced to sell. This is a
supermarket 'cause I used to grudgingly work at one.
An actual attempt at a personal "tv's Spatch" homepage. Includes
a SpatchFAQ sorely lacking in actual answers and my own culinary wisdom, all rolled into one.
I moved the Friends page to my latest silly stuff, Spatula Planet which is really
nothing more than an excuse for me to play with raytraced graphics and
stuff. Spheres rule, and so do my friends.
Of course, you can't forget the amazing Bacon
Sandwiches Homepage, now updated 'cause they released some new
stuff, and take a look at Retina
Communications, where I now reside and do strange things to late at
night. Like pretend that I know how to write Perl. ("Liiiiiiza, it's
barfing again!")
spatula@retina.net - Retina Communications, retina.net. Duh.
You can gimme the
finger to see if I'm online, for no apparent freakin' reason
whatsoever, or you could give me the
other finger
to see if I'm currently logged into the ISCABBS. Check often, that
profile changes like Madonna's image every few years.
The Stupid Homepage was brought to you today by the letters R, N,
and by the number 5.
Spatch's Trophy Case
- The Useless URLs
have awarded us the
distinction of Useless Personal Homepage of the Year, and it's a kick and a half. No, really.
Point Communications has also rated us among the
Top 5% of All Internet Sites. Makes you feel warm, fuzzy, and yet, in
some way, insignificant, doesn't it? I mean, of all Internet
sites? That's quite a bit, eh? And 5% of quite a bit still will equal a fair amount, won't it? Ok, I should just suck up and accept humbly.
- I also hear your mom liked us quite a bit, too.
All work herein is copyright © 1996 spatula@retina.net unless
specified otherwise (like if there's somebody else's name at the top of
the document. Duh.)
Filmed in Shadowramma(TM)
If you miss the old Stupid Homepage with its homey graphics and whatnot,
you can go back to the nostalgia chamber and
look at it. Most links should be valid, yet all references to Volant are
hereby null and void. Moo.
