The Stupid Archives
Stand back, take a deep breath and allow the elevator to continue on its
downward journey. Let the large vault-like door open to reveal a veritable
wealth of stupid files (most culled from alt.stupidity) and weird songs. Then run
like hell back up the stairs before the door closes and shuts you in here
forever!
Files
- Woo, it's the first two scenes from Pulp
Bacon, that cool movie by that Quentin Toronto guy that all the kids
are so jazzed up about.
- Transcribed (it's a big word for 'ripped off') from the Kids In
The Hall for your Scripture readings, it's the Dr.
Seuss Bible!
- Kaj Groner whips out the harmonica and sings a song called Red Macaronni[sic, I hope].
- Here's an old James Joycean rant that I
wrote a few months back in alt.make.money.fast.
- I'm sure you could all use a lesson in what a SPATCHCOCK is, and no, it's not what
belongs in alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.spatch.
- The Don't Say I Didn't Learn You Nothing Dept: Here's something we
all can use -- the ability to MAKE.EGYPT.FAST.
- Here's a little song I wrote, although a bit outdated now I still
think it holds up. AOL -- it's crappy. Check
out the neatokeen old email address and .sig there, too!
- Jason Nafziger rips off the Beatles to write "alt.stupidity", a song that once was about some
woman named Eleanor or something.
- A screenplay from some guy in Finland, probably drunk off his
ass, called DAMN YOU PIRARD! I think
this is probably the stupidest thing I have in these archives. Think of
Star Trek: The Next Generation while on seventeen different forms of
narcotics, barbituates, and hallucinogens (you pick). Now read.
- The theme song and first scene of 5TUP1DZ, the official sitcom of alt.stupidity,
where 6 or so stupid friends sit around eating corn and bacon!
Guaranteed not to contain Marcel the Monkey!
- Take a moment to read the Pufapalooza Memorial
Haiku Gallery, honoring the work of Sid and Marty Krofft, those tripped-out
geniuses.
- There's also the STFK.FAQ, which I won't say
anything more about.
- Read some touching Civil War letters, as
performed as dramatic reading on Wannabe Radio.
- Vikram Kumar Khare proposes the ultimate grudge match: Jesus Christ vs. Bacon!
- Flip your way to fitness with Spatchercise!
- Keylime's touching Ode to Odie - Part I of a triptych
- Keylime's enchanting Ode to OJ - The IInd part of the triptych
- Keylime's final (thank God) Ode to O - the IIIrd and final installment
- Baxter the WonderLop escapes from his cage and sends messages to alt.pets.rabbits
- Advertisement for Big Ed's Discount Internet
- A public service announcement for those addicted to doggy snacks
- Found this Hostess Snack Cakes ad on the front cover of one of those religious Archie comic books. I always hated those.
- CHIPMUNKS?! ON POT?!?! - Unfortunately it's true. Alvin, Simon, Theodore, and Alice B. Toklas.
- Is It Red? - Script of the famous game show
- Christmas Specials - Why Spatch hates 'em so much
- Gerard Francis Thurston - Biography with html filmography
- How To Overcome Self-Abuse - Helpful hints from the Mormons
- The OFFICIAL alt.stupidity FAQ - Yep, this is the real one.
The Wit and Wisdom of Moulton - Herr Moulton speaks out. (Well, not any more.)
- Stupid Newbie Tricks - Actual quotes from actual MUSE newbies.
- Burt! - Random talk about Burt! Burt's cool.
- A lecture on why the Information Superhighway is such a stupid thing to say
Songs
to
the Stupid Homepage.